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Life is a competition. Personally, my friends are not my competitors. I may be naive, but I really do not understand how friends want each other to fail or how people do not want their friend to have the best out there. I want everyone to know how pretty my friends are, how fun my friends are, and how successful my friends are. I really want everyone to know how great the people I love are! That is why I find it disturbing that some friendships are full of jealousy and/or ulterior motives.

I know it's natural to be somewhat jealous of those that are more fortunate than you, but it is different when people actually get upset that the other person is fortunate. I cannot believe that some people are willing to stealthily bring people down in some way. The duplicity of these people is uncalled for. Although these actions that certain people express not so explicitly may not be too extreme, it still bothers me.

I have no idea why it would be upsetting to someone if someone else (whom they think they are better than or whatever the case is) is doing well in something or is maybe getting something of good value. Perhaps it is understandable if these people are not even friends and they have some kind of grudge between them or something--but it is not understandable if people are close friends. I know that copying everything someone does is irritating... but who is really claiming what? People have a change of heart about things all the time--not everyone is trying to copy you. Yeah, I know... it's still annoying.... but I don't know what to say about it. Put yourself in the other person's shoes.

I don't think my friends are annoying, I do support them in their decisions, and I do want the best for them. If this was not true, they would not be considered a good friend in my book. Hopefully, this is the same for most people.

other thoughts:
It's so weird how people bring out different sides of you. Some person can be like who I am describing in this entry above to me, but they will not be like that to other people. It is all very subconscious. Some people just like other people better or think of them more highly..it's life. I just happen to bring this "cruel intention" trait out of some people even though I know they like me. Likewise, some people bring out the kindness in me, some people bring out the sporty side of me, some people bring out the ..dare I say it... down-to-earth side of me, some people bring out the focused side of me, some people bring out the artsy side of me, while others bring out the bitchiness in me and etc. It doesn't mean I'm being fake to a certain person or anything, it just happens to be the side that that person brings out in me.

Okay... I can be a bitch... but I honestly do have good intentions... so don't get it twisted.

So.... don't judge... because you don't know the whole story... and you probably never will because it will probably never come up in conversation because we just don't bring out that side in each other.




this entry is not for anyone in particular...seriously.... it's just something I was thinking about....and I still love you all!!

Trevor made me get into again. Long and boring first entry!


What people choose to do with their time is their own prerogative. The problem with society, particularly our generation and including myself, is that everyone is concerned with themselves. The glamour of the mainstream lifestyle has taken over our lives. Did you know that Mariah Carey has a person that is apart of her entourage that makes sure that she is only photographed from the right side of her face? That person probably has a salary that is higher than our college professors for something completely unnecessary.

I recently had a conversation with a friend about "mainstream" pretty or "media" pretty. People see themselves in a completely different way than other people see them. Why is it that we think our friends are perfect, but they find so many different things wrong with themselves? And why is it that we pick people apart that we don't know? My friend thinks that if everyone got plastic surgery from a good plastic surgeon, everyone would be more "media" pretty. I think that if you want plastic surgery you should go ahead and get it if it'll make you feel better about yourself, but it completely unnecessary. There are few people that are ACTUALLY ugly. When people get plastic surgery I feel that they lose character and they turn into a blank palette like so many other people...but yes, they are probably prettier if we hold them to the standards of the media, which we all do! It so exhausting comparing yourself to other people; it is exhausting to compare yourself to someone's looks, personality, talent, or accomplishments. It makes you feel so self-conscious and, well, not good enough!!! I seriously know and am surrounded by really really really really really pretty girls that are super smart and have great personalities! Very intimidating

Such materialistic perspectives have distracted people from important issues in the world, which happen to be our issues as well. For example, if it is possible for global warming to be reversed, why do the holes in the ozone layer just keep on getting bigger? We choose to keep on using that hairspray! It isn't a huge ordeal for us today because we don't quite feel the affects of this aside from changes in the weather pattern. Unfortunately, our children's children are going to have a huge problem in the future. Or if the entire world has enough food at this very point in time to end world hunger, why is it that world hunger is still a prevalent issue today? And whose problem is it really? Today, I believe that world population is somewhere around 5.5 billion people. It's crazy to think that China, a country smaller than the United States, holds about 1/6th of the total world population. And has everyone forgotten about New Orleans?????? The tough part is that there are so many different things that need to be focused on! How can you choose? It is difficult enough to make a commitment to one organization. It would be impossible to devote energy into all the issues that you might care about. Nothing would be accomplished. Oftentimes we do feel for these issues, but we also tend to forget about them as we move about our daily lifestyles.

I feel like a lazy bum that one, doesn't do anything, and two, is a lot of the time too concerned about the materialistic commodities in life; as a result, I have decided to do something productive with my time. Okay.. I still love clothes and makeup and all that, but, I think it would be nice if I did something that isn't so selfish.

Sooo... I've decided to commit myself to not only working at a retail store in the winter while working at the C8 cafe, because I'm not gonna lie--I love shopping and I need money--but I will also be volunteering at the women's shelter for abused and battered women. Why you ask?? I've seen and I know of many people, some close to me, that have experienced things that they shouldn't have, annnnnnnnd I think that overt expressions of mysogynistic views are disgusting.



balance??